Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Is this really it?

And 30 hour call is the only thing that's keeping me from sleeping in my own bed. I'm truly glad to be leaving Harrisburg. I did a lot of traveling, and I think the time passed quickly, but I'm not sure how much I learned here that I will be able to use in the future. I have learned that I am really terrible at being the middle-man, so when people want to complain about either side, I'm generally agreeing with them, instead of being Switzerland, which I need to work on.

I also learned that the friendships you make when the times are the worst really mean the most. I'm really going to miss these people. They are so funny to be around, and some of that could just be because I have no horrible history with them, we trucked thru this together etc, or its because there are actually really nice people out there, and I finally found some.

This marathon of two weeks straight has been pretty rough. 80hr / week should probably be illegal, as I'm not sure half the time of what I'm doing since I'm not sure I'm awake enough to function most days. As a direct result of that, I'm way behind in my working out, and I really really can't wait to get back and do that again. I feel like such a disgusting blob.

I really think that at the end of the day I will be happy. But at times, I can't see myself getting through the next 3 years without so much trial/tribulation that I wonder if its worth it. So I've been thinking of other jobs I set out to do or had that I could have done instead...

1. Ambassador - I'm probably not the right political affiliation for this anyway, but speaking Spanish still gives me more of a high than putting central lines in people

2. Broadcast Journalism- Probably with my huuuuge self esteem issues, this isn't the way to go anyway

3. Rink Supervisor. Now, honestly, if this didnt pay minimum wage, I'd have looked into moving on up. I can say this was the best job I've had. But only cuz I made the best friends while working there :)

4. Sears deposit counter. Safe job, I was decent at it... But it bored me to death!

5. Babysitter. Um... probably not a good plan since I didn't become comfy w/ kids til recently! lol

6. Travel Agent - I'd never make any money cuz I'd just take the deals myself!


honestly I'm probably on the right path. I truly believe that there is some sort of plan for us, but we're just not let in on that. I hope that I can do something cool in the future like, working for a cruise line or living somewhere because i wanted to and not because I had to. For once, I really would like to pick the place I live because it appealed to me, not because I had to go there...

anyway, not a productive blog... lol

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

pgy-2

So, I can safely say I did NOT keep this blog up last year.

Intern year, when I reflect, was a year of trying to balance life and work, and often failing miserably. I didn't mind the work honestly, as I wasn't pushed to better myself in the hospital very often. As usual, my favorite docs to work for were the ones that made me feel like such an idiot that I actually did go home and read. But, as with most times in my life, I didn't find these people often enough to make me happy all the time. But who is happy all the time?

Actually, most of the time I was truly happy. But who knew that the biggest stressors of a resident's life wouldn't be her patients but her co-workers. I think I spent most of my time worrying about why people hated me or treated me like crap, and very few hours at home worrying about how to make my patients well faster. I think that shows how not ready for medicine I was this year. Sometimes I envy these people who had lives before they went back to medical school... They had time to go live out some stupid kid stuff that I'm still dealing w/ since I'm only 27. Or maybe I'll never grow up, which I'm okay with too.

At any rate, I started second year on July 1st. And, I started my second year on an out rotation. I am on my toxicology rotation, which is 80 hrs/week. Its worse than my intern year, actually, at least by hours. but I'm learning I think, and that has to be worth something, right??

well anyway, i'll try to post better stuff soon...